August 1st started out like any other day. I had many plans for the day including thoughts of getting a pedicure. We got up and my wonderful best friend Claudine met me at the hospital for my 8am appointment. The plan was to do a version which would have turned the baby from the outside. We went in and the doctor began looking at the baby via ultrasound. He noticed that the fluids were very low and that by the measurements the baby was about 5 pounds. The cesarean doctor then came in and informed me that she would not be able to turn the baby from the outside and that the chances of him moving on his own were little to none.
By this time my greatest fear was looking pretty close. I then asked her what does this mean. She answered "A scheduled cesarean". I couldnt hold the tears in and I began to sob. She was well aware that I had come from the birthing center and that I had no interest in a C section but because of the risk to the baby I could not object.
I had walked in with high hopes and as she began to express her concerns to me the bomb completely dropped. I was terrified as I have never been omitted to the hospital before let a lone the OR.
I could hardly talk when I called Aaron and informed him he would need to come home ASAP because we were going to have a baby in literally 4 hours.
I have learned once again, or have been reminded once again that God's plans and my plans are NOT the same. We like to think they are. We like to say that we want God's will in our life but when it comes down to it I did not want that part of God's will in my life. From there on it was a very terrifying experience but with all the wonderful people God put in that OR with me and the support I had from family and friends and most of all my husband I got through it just fine. I think in the end God just wanted me to stop planning. To learn to trust him and know that everything would eventually turn out for the best. And believe me it did. All the pain and the heart ache has been well worth it. I could go through a dozen surgeries just to have this little baby boy! He is truly a gift from God.
We love you Abram Aaron.
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